An online search has informed me that my "jade health mattress" has the following qualities:
It can make the five viscera and the six entrails (of gall bladder, stomach, small and large intestines, the paunch, the bladder and the bowels) strong. By pushing out body waste material, having good treatment effect against high blood pressure, diabetes,
circulating system troubles, heat disease, women disease, osteoporosis, women’s disease etc.
*update: last night my host mom brought a large box covered in dials into my room. This she attached to both my jade mattress and the electrical outlet so that I got to sleep on rocks that were emanating heat instead of just plain old rocks like the night before.