Saturday, October 14, 2006

princess and the pea?

My host mom put some sort of rock-plated mat down on top of my yo for me to sleep reminds me of chain mail, except with flat, sand dollar sized stones (I think they are jade...or possibly fake jade) instead of the chain links. When she did it, she definitely acted like I should be getting excited about it. I've been sitting on it for almost an hour now, and it is definitely NOT COMFORTABLE.

An online search has informed me that my "jade health mattress" has the following qualities:

It can make the five viscera and the six entrails (of gall bladder, stomach, small and large intestines, the paunch, the bladder and the bowels) strong. By pushing out body waste material, having good treatment effect against high blood pressure, diabetes,
circulating system troubles, heat disease, women disease, osteoporosis, women’s disease etc.

I'm very happy to no longer have to live in fear of hysteria, and even happier to know I will soon have a strong paunch.

*update: last night my host mom brought a large box covered in dials into my room. This she attached to both my jade mattress and the electrical outlet so that I got to sleep on rocks that were emanating heat instead of just plain old rocks like the night before.

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