engrishy

Today in my teacher class, my favorite teacher wrote the sentence, "Tomorrow I will go eat out my family." Then I came home and found my host brother studying an "English textbook" with the following gems (I swear these are exactly as they appear in the text):

Today I church walked.
I read much Bible book.
And church is good.
I continue go church.

I'm happy and exciting today.
Because school have no.
School have no my play.
So I'm interesting.

I saw a movie, Forest Gump yesterday.
Forest Gump is very good man.
That's because his IQ is very low he know the difference between public things and private things.
I'll Forest Gump like very good man.

Today is Children's day.
At my church do a party.
We are be invited for the church party.
I eat lunch for church delicious but so hot.
After went to pc room meet friends.
Anyway childrens day very good.
I wish the day like children's day increase.

and my fave...

My brother is test.
Today is holiday. I wanted to give him 'Yut.'
But I didn't have money buy 'Yut.'
So I gave him my longest finger.
Then my brother suddenly held my neck.
I hate him. I hoped he will do well on his exam.
Sorry, brother! eat tasty.

I had the hardest time convincing my family that the English was wrong--they are convinced that all printed material is infallible. I finally resorted to chanting the Korean word "bad" over and over as I madly crossed out words and sentences with my pencil.